Kids these days
by Mizuni-no-neko
Summary: The gang is all grown up! They got married, had kids, and moves to...Ardmore Oklahoma? M for language...for now. SasuNaru a heck of alot of OCs..but thankfully no Real character/OC stuff. That shat don't fly with me!
1. Running into friends

Kids these days

By Courtney

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, not even the new characters…they own themselves cause they're real people…although I tried to sell Wyatt on EBay -

Uchiha Courtney smiled, she hated her smile, and threw her long brown and blonde highlighted hair over her shoulder, she hated her hair too…in fact she just hated everything about the way she looked, her odd skin color that was both tan and pale at the same time, her stout body build (I'm fat) everything. The only thing she didn't hate about her looks was her eyes. They looked brown from a distance but if you looked closely they were actually mostly green with only a small ring of brown around the pupils. She had no idea how she came to look like this seeing as how her dad's hair and eyes were pitch black and her mom was blue eyed and blonde. But oh well, can't pick your genes as her science teacher said.

She walked down the slightly clean Hall of Ardmore Middle School, she was a freshman but there was a Drama and Debate contest this week end so she was back for one weekend. She wasn't quite paying attention so she ran smack dab into her cousin Kaitlyn. Kaitlyns hair was for the most part blonde with a little dirty blonde showing at the roots. Her eyes were hazelish green, odd considering her dad, Uchiha Itachi, looked a lot like Courtney's and her mom, Uchiha Shikamaru, had brownish black hair and dark brown eyes. "Oh sorry Kaitlyn." She said sheepishly, giggling, as she helped her cousin up from her sprawled position on the floor. "No big." Kaitlyn replied smiling.

They went their separate ways again and Courtney went back to her thinking. She ran into a friend once again, but was knocked on her back this time because the person was taller than her and stationary. She looked up to see Hyuuga Mike, son of the Hyuuga heiress Hinata and her Wife Sakura. He was ye another example of not looking a thing like your parents. His Hair was a Dark brown as were his eyes. His mother and Father, mother being Sakura who carried him father being Hinata due to a jutsu that allowed her to turn into a man, Were both beautiful His mother had soft pink hair and bright intriguing green eyes while his father had hair so black it was almost blue in the right lights with soft lilac pupils that looked white. Mike was just a really ugly and nerdy prep.

He didn't apologize, just grumbled something that could have been mistaken as a hello on a better day and went off without even helping her up. She huffed and her eyes began to bleed red with Sharingan, but she took a deep breath and smiled, her eyes were back to their natural hazel. She got up and dusted herself off, swearing to pay more attention before she bumped into someone else. Unfortunately making this resolution caused her to bump into yet another familiar face. This time it was Aburame Tim, Mike's boyfriend. He also looked nothing like his parents, none of her friends did, his hair was lightish brown and it was hard to tell his eye color because he wore contacts, she thinks…anyway his parents were Tamari and Shino. Shino, his father, had Dark hair and wore sunglasses so she thought his eyes were dark but she wasn't sure and His Mother Tamari was a dirty blonde with blue eyes that were almost purple. He just kind of glared at her and grunted a greeting of, "hn" and went on his merry way! And they said the Uchihas were bad with words! She sent ice daggers through his back as he walked away, her eyes once again bleeding into the all too familiar red of her family's bloodline limit.

Her eye twitched and she snarled but after a moment of thought she calmed down and canceled the Sharingan. She forced a smile and continued to walk this time she was caught between two friends and it was avoid one or avoid the other, but not both. So she did the only fair thing…crashed into them both. The three went down in a massive pile of flailing limbs and tangled clothing. Her jacket sleeve had caught on one of the others jacket zipper and the other had gotten a mouthful of her unrestrained hair. She winced as the other girl accidentally pulled it while trying to spit it out. She carefully untangled her self and looked at the two other girls. She laughed when she saw Hatake Jennifer and Hatake Amanda in a hopeless pile of fraternal twin ness. They untangled themselves and laughed along with her. They looked more like her mother than their parents. Their dad Kakashi was a perv with silver hair and one brown eye, the other was Sharingan but only because one of her relatives had given him his eye. Their mother, Hatake Iruka, had Brown hair and eyes while the twins were both blonde with blue eyes.

She said goodbye to Jenny and Amanda and continued again. Life went on for a few minutes with no collisions but as she was thinking this she ran into Wyatt Hyuuga. She sighed as she fell to the floor for the third time today, she should have known this was going to happen. But before she could hit the floor he caught her. As he helped her up she smiled at him. He was another case of looking absolutely nothing like your parents. His father was Hyuuga Neji, Hinata's cousin, who had the same lilac eyes with no pupils but whose hair was not so bluish. His mother Tenten had dark brown hair and warm chocolate brown eyes, but his eyes were blue as the sky and his hair was blonde, funny how these things happen isn't it?

She was so happy to see him she forgot all about that though, he lived in a different town so she didn't get to see him as often as she would have liked, but it couldn't be helped. She practically flung her arms around his neck as she hugged him ecstatically. He laughed and hugged her back. "So what's up?" She asked when they finally let go of each other. "Nothing much how about you?" he replied. "Same here." She said, sighing, life was boring without the troubles of the sound nin to distract her.

She told him as much and he laughed at her! She just got really cold and stoic, something Uchihas were good at. He stopped laughing; they had been through this before. She would give such a cold shoulder you could see the frost on her shirt and only talk to him once he had stopped laughing.

She smiled and started chatting up a storm about random things that had happened during band; she played the baritone in the high school band, or other classes. She stopped when they reached where she had been heading all along, the cafeteria.

She paled, her parents were there…and they were making out! She ran over and pulled her dad off her mom horrified. The two men were practically attacking each other! "Uchiha Sasuke! Uchiha Naruto! You two stop that this instant!" she cried in despair. Instead her dad wriggled out of her grasp and started taking off Naruto's shirt!

She hit her open palm on her forehead in a well known gesture, it wasn't the first time they had tried do _that_ in public. "If your gonna do that at least do it in the bathroom!" she said exasperatedly. As they ran off, her mother was blushing and her dad looking positively sadistic she called out after them, "AND WARN PEOPLE YOUR IN THERE!!!" she sighed and slumped into a chair, this day was just beginning.


	2. Bossy

Kids these days

By Courtney

Luckily for all her mom heard her and stopped in his tracks. He turned a violent shade of tomato paste red and hurried back to his seat. Her dad glared at her as she sniggered. She just ignored him and went to change the song playing on the stereo.

She laughed and started to dance to some dumb rap song

_I'm bossy  
I'm the first girl to scream on a track  
I switched up the beat of the drum  
That's right, I brought all the boys to the yard  
And that's right, I'm the one that's tattooed on his arm  
I'm bossy  
I'm the bitch you love to hate  
I'm the chick that's raised the stake  
I told young stunna he should switch to Bape  
I'm back with an 808 'cause I'm bossy_

Suddenly her mom had come up and the started dancing together. She laughed at his antics. He looked really girly with his bright blue eyes sparkling and his hips swaying to the beat.

_Ooo lemme slow it down so you can catch the flow (catch the flow)  
Screw it up, make it go extra slow (extra slow)  
Real girls get down on the floor (on the floor get down)  
If I gave you a taste you want some more   
Touchdown on me ... like a pro  
I'd rather be like a bicycle   
I'm icy cold_

She topped dancing and stood back to watch, her dad had joined in too and they were dancing like a couple of teenage idiots in a club.

_Ooo from the 6'4 hoppas up in Crenshaw  
the money-makin playas up in Harlem  
don't want no problems  
we gon' keep it pumpin'  
while the 808's jumpin'_

diamonds on ma neck d- diamonds on ma grill  
diamonds on ma neck d- diamonds on ma grill

She sat down and calmly observed the couple who were flirtatiously dancing in one spot, funny how you can only do that with that accursed hip hop crap.

_I'm Bossy  
I'm the first girl to scream on the track  
I switched up the beat of the drum  
That's right I brought all the boys to the yard  
And that's right I'm the one that's tattooed on his arm_

I'm Bossy   
I'm the chick y'all love to hate  
I'm the chick that's raisin' stakes  
I told Young Stunna he should switch to bass  
I'm back wit an 808, cause I'm bossy

It amused her how the only two dancing to the song at the moment were two guys, bossy to be sure, but guys. Or at least they bossed her around…but it might just be a parent thing.

_(Oh, I bet, I bet, I bet) I Betcha never heard it like this before  
Me and my baby be closin' them phantom doors  
At the bar poppin this that u can't afford (can't afford)  
That u can't afford_

i'm chokin'   
Lost in the clowds it's all smokin'  
All the while i'm all open  
Me and ma girls we stay fly  
And we love to stay high 

Ooo from the 6'4 hoppas up in Crenshaw  
The money-makin playas up in Harlem  
Don't want no problems  
We gon' keep it pumpin'  
While the 808 is jumpin'

She had looked away during her reveries and turned to see…her dad latched on to her mom's neck! She crashed out of her chair with a mumble somewhere along the lines of 'scary, very scary' her

Naruto jumped slightly at the large crash he heard. Maneuvering around the man straddling his hips he saw his daughter Courtney on the floor with a dazed look. He got up quickly, dumping his husband on his ass…a nice ass by the way, in his opinion that is. He walked over to the semi conscious teenager.

He poked her on the temple in an attempt to wake her, but all he got was a muddled rendition of "castle on a cloud" for his troubles. He laughed and lightly kicked her. When she didn't immediately got up and punch him he began to worry. "Courtney?" he asked tentatively, she didn't respond. "He gathered her up into his arms and rocked her gently, she wasn't breathing. She had hit her head very hard when she had fallen. Everyone looked on worried. He began CPR and after a few repetitions she gasped, gulping for air. They backed up to give her room while she caught her breath after approximately a minute and a half of not breathing. He could tell this was going to be a long day.


	3. Itachi's a dead man

Kids these days

By Courtney

I got one, count it, one review! And it didn't count because it was from Wyatt and he's _in_ the story! If you don't review I'll stop the story…COME ON EVEN SOME FLAMES WOULD BE NICE!!!!!

Btw does anyone else think this should have a lemon? If you don't like lemon I'll have a warning so you can avoid reading it but still read the story…it'll probably be sasunaru because they're so awesome together! LEMON IF ENOUGH PEOPLE REVIEW!!!

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Sasuke stood over his husband who was desperately trying to revive their daughter Courtney who had conked her head when she passed out after she had seen them…umm…"dancing" and had stopped breathing. He saw her chest rise sharply, that was always a good thing. He backed up letting her breath, something he had never understood. If he was passed out and hadn't been breathing the first things he would want to see were the faces of his family.

_**Time skip of about…5 minutes**_

Itachi was evil, oh yes her uncle was the most evil man on the planet! He hadn't told her "Aunt" Shikamaru was…was…grrr! She was seething silently, something her family seemed to be _very_ good at, glaring daggers at her uncle. If looks could kill he'd be dead, rotting, and having his organs sold on the black market…or eBay.

Kaitlyn was right beside her, just as silent…just as pissed. It was_ her_ mother! Why hadn't she been told until right fucking now! She'd be damned if she let her jackass of a father get away with this, she was in league with Courtney to murder him without actually killing anyone. Not that they couldn't, she and Courtney were two of the most talented leaf genin in their group, it was an Uchiha thing. Her dad had been ANBU captain when he was like what?...12? She didn't know, she really didn't care at the moment.

We now meet a new character; she's here for comic relief. Her name is Heather Parker and she is the daughter of none other than Peter and M.J. Parker. For those of you who have no clue who they are or what they're doing in a Naruto fic…Peter Parker is Spiderman's secret identity and they are in this fic because I want them to be! Their not actually in it but…you know what I mean

Heather had light brownish blondish hair, really a very light brown actually…heck I don't know! But she had really pretty light green eyes** (at least I remembered that -) **Heather wasn't a ninja, but she had super powers so they didn't have to worry about their enemies using her against them. She basically had spidey's powers, super strength, spider sense, web shooting, the works. She was authoress takes out her baritone bum bump buh dum! The amazing superdedooper Spidergirl!

She was currently napping in a web above the corner the Uchiha cousins were skulking in. She heard a soft, and demented, laugh from Courtney. Heather was also in band, she played the clarinet **(as does everyone else and their mother! Grrr lol, love to the woodwinds from this brass chick!)** and so she knew her better than some of the ninjas, they had been bus buddies on the way to at least two band trips.

Back to the demented laughter…Heather heard soft demented laughter from Courtney…demented laughter was never good coming from an Uchiha, she remembered what had happened last time and shuddered. She swung down farther to hear what they were talking about. "I'm gonna kill your dad Chick-a-dee." Courtney said, probably addressing Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn responded with something that might or might not have been a mumbled 'get in line' Heather was bewildered "wonder why they want to kill Itachi, he's a nice enough guy, for an Uchiha." She thought to herself.

The truth is that Itachi knew he was in for it, and so he was hiding. It wasn't just his daughter and niece…it was the whole group of family and friends! His brother's husband was the most pissed…and one of the strongest. He shuddered when he thought about the guy's chakra. But his niece was just as bad, and just as pissed. So he was hiding…but probably not for long with three Sharingan, four byakuugan, and the combined force of three jinchikurii looking for him.

He was right. About the being found fast part at least. But only three of the byakuugan users were looking for him…Mike had a round to judge or he would've been hot on Itachi's trail as well. He was found cowering in a cubby hole in the band room behind a tuba…not very good cover.

He was yanked up by his ridiculously long hair to meet eyes that were between the blood red of Sharingan and a pale unearthly blue. "Why didn't you tell us!" she demanded of the whimpering shinobi. So much for the great Uchiha Itachi. He was a puddle of goop as he pleaded for his life at the hands of his family and closest friends.

"I'm sorry! We didn't want you to get excited and end up disappointed if it didn't work out!" he sobbed. He clung to Courtney's leg and was shaken violently as she tried to displace him, to no avail. "Yeah right, knowing you, you were to overprotective and jealous to care if we wanted to know or not." His younger brother scoffed…it was true that Itachi was a bit possessive…but that hadn't been the case this time! "Don't' forget the fact that he didn't tell us long enough to actually care about how Shikamaru is." Courtney's voice was laced with sarcasm. "Uncle, how is he? Is it going well? Any problems so far?" she asked the questions slowly and methodically, so he could calm down long enough to understand them. After a minute he replied slowly. "He's fine, it's going good so far, and there have been no significant problems." His voice still hinted at a nervous panic, but outwardly he was in control. He hoped…this was going to be a long day.


	4. Hinata's wearing WHAT?

Kids these days

Chapter 4

Nobody reviewed so no lemon for you haha! Anyways review please, if you don't I'll kill a character! I WILL KILL EVERYONE IF NO ONE REVIEWS!!! Your deadline to review is…you must review before 4:00 on May 29th or I will kill everyone starting with…Starting with SASUKE!!!! So review if you want him to live.

Itachi wished he had stayed behind the tuba…Shikamaru was going to beat him to a bloody pulp when he found out Itachi hadn't told anyone. He trudged slowly to where Shikamaru smiled, waiting. He didn't know the others were chasing him around all day when they had found out somehow.

He could just see the torture Shikamaru would use now…tying him to a chair and…forcing him to listen to Barbie girl over and over again. Itachi shuddered, he could take no sex for a week but that song was murder! He just couldn't take it!

He smile weekly at his husband who practically blinded him with his warm happy smile filled with love and affection…he hadn't felt this bad when his conscience caught up with him after the Uchiha massacre! "You can take off the henge jutsu now

Shika-chan." He said tiredly. Barbie girl would be playing at his funeral, he was sure of it. Shikamaru did some seals and when the smoke cleared he looked almost no different…if you ignored the obviously protruding abdomen.

"I still don't see why you made me use it." The very pregnant man pouted. "It's cause I'm fat isn't it? You don't love me anymore!" he wailed, mood swings were killer. Itachi shuddered. "No, no Shika-koi! You're beautiful! I love you, please don't cry!" he said as he cradled the sobbing wreck he called a husband. "You're lying! You hate me and you want me to leave so you can chase after some tramp man-whore!" he sobbed, pushing Itachi away.

"Well I won't be in your way anymore, I'm gonna leave and I'm not even gonna ask for child support, I'll just let you go back to your life and raise the baby on my own!" he said between sobs. His attitude suddenly changed, damn these dumbass mood swings! "You fucking bitch ho skank! How dare you leave me for some trashy whore you picked up at the bar down the street! I'm gonna take this to court and not only get custody, I WILL GET EVERY PENNY YOU HAVE!!" he screeched as he started wailing on him old school style with an eggbeater.

Itachi was in figurative hell, you know the kind of hell on earth that makes you wish you were in actual hell because your significant other is just beating you to a bloody pulp due to either PMS, pregnancy, or serious lack of sleep. The kind of hell that makes you want some chick named Olga to tie you above a grill at taco bell and crack a whip at your back which causes you to arch forward and burn your stomach on the grill. Yeah, that kind of hell. (**A/N **I'm sadistic, I know lol)

Itachi shook himself out of his masochistic thoughts and held the pregnant mans arms above his head and silenced his protests of 'spousal abuse' with a passion filled kiss on his loves lips, Shikamaru gasped, giving Itachi an opening. He delved his tongue into the hot crevice that tasted like chocolate covered strawberries. He took a moment to ponder the reason as to why his husband tasted like an aphrodisiac then broke for air.

"You-you taste li-like chocolate covered strawberries" he said panting, and for more reasons than he had just gone about two minutes without much air. Shikamaru's eyes were partially glazed over as he sunk into a chair.

His breathing was ragged, but slowly returning to normal. "I'm sorry Itachi." Was all he said, simply and yet it held a world of emotion twice over. He looked straight into his loves eyes as he said it, this let Itachi know that he meant it, that he wasn't ashamed to say it.

Back in the cafeteria everyone had returned to their normal happy talkative selves, or well Naruto, Courtney, Jenny, and Lee had. Courtney and Naruto were currently dancing like dorks to Candy man (**A/N** from the makers of Barbie girl -) and Jenny and Lee were talking about the youthfulness of whales. Amanda was reading some obscure novel while wondering how she was related to the whale obsessed child-in-a-teen's-body. Kakashi and Iruka were making out, not thinking about much of anything, as were Tim and Mike. No one knew where Hinata and Sakura had gone and everyone else was just spread out at random.

Shikamaru and Itachi soon joined them, Shikamaru had practically glued himself to his husband, ya know the whole clingy inferiority complex pregnant people sometimes get. They sat down as one big blob at the same table as Sasuke, Neji, and Wyatt. The reactions were, for the most part, the same. Neji and Sasuke both just grunted a salutation, Wyatt kinda just ignored them.

Sakura joined them soon after, she sat next to her ex crush/ex teammate/best friend/other best friends lover. Or you could just say she sat down beside Sasuke, either way. She smiled at the group consisting of her best friend, best friend's brother, best friend's brother's husband, Cousin-in-law, and cousin-in-laws son. She couldn't wait to see their faces in a few minutes. She checked that she wasn't drooling at the mere thought, she was good.

She started small talk, only Itachi participated. Sasuke and Neji were stoic bastards, no one knew what was up with Wyatt, and Shikamaru was still too lazy despite mood swings and super-human hormone driven strength. The two proceeded to talk weather, government, gossip, anything to fill the silence that was crouching at their metaphorical doorstep. That's when Sakura started to drool, not only drool, ohhh no, she was in full on nose bleed mode.

Hinata had come in at that particular moment, but all was not well in the world of the Naruto characters. Hinata was in tight black leather pants that hugged her form nicely. Her shirt was skin-tight mesh over a form-fitting flesh colored undershirt, all showing her stomach and ribs. The tops were low cut, really low cut. Everyone present was thinking the same thing. 'Who is this woman and what did she do with Hinata?'

This woman-who-is-not-Hinata sauntered over to Sakura, who was seriously turned on by this point, and began a sort of seductive lap dance/mindless grinding motion teasing her with small love bites on her lips and neck. The couples in the shadows had even stopped making out in order to watch and Mike had passed out when his 'dad' had come in. Courtney and Naruto had stopped dancing and turned off the stereo, the only sound besides the on going rant about the youthfulness of whales from the two oblivious innocents was the groans and moans coming from the two women. Hinata slammed Sakura against the wall, ravishing her neck. Sakura wrapped her legs around Hinata moaning and they made their way stumblingly out of the cafeteria and hopefully into an unused room.

Everyone snapped out of their stupor. Courtney was as twitchy as a pregnant rat (I'm sorry Lunar Chasmodai…I kinda stole it sorry) _blink.twitch.blink._ "WHAT!?"

I'm gonna end it there so you can treat your nosebleeds, jack off, throw up…whatever you do after a bad attempt at a partial lemon.


	5. of fights and flagpole wedgies

Kids these days

Chapter 5

By the all powerful loser!

I've decided disclaimers are a waist of time, obviously if Naruto isn't a huge yaoi/mall amount of yuri/small amount of het fest it's not mine! If it was mine Sasuke and Naruto would've done more than kissed in episode 3!

A/N: Why does no one review for four chapters I've gotten 2 review and they were both from Wyatt who doesn't fucking count! REVIEW!!!!!

ON WITH THE GOD DAMN FIC BITCHES!

Finally things returned to a semblance of normality, although Mike was still unconscious and Courtney was still twitching. People resumed there conversations, unless they were Jenny and Lee who had never stopped talking, and wiped the drool and blood off of their faces. But of course this peace couldn't last for long.

Sasuke and Itachi, being brothers, couldn't get along for more than two seconds. Most of the time the spats were small shouting matched about trivial things. This was different, this was even more retarded.

"Itachi I've already told you a million times! Cupcakes are better than cookies!" Sasuke calmly stated. Itachi was equally as calm. "Foolish little brother, if cupcakes wish to triumph over the deliciousness of the cookie they must nurture their hatred and become more tasty or they will fail." Courtney just sighed and rolled her eyes, she was used to this. What she wasn't used to was, "Get over here you bastard! How dare you say that about cupcakes!" she immediately looked up in wide-eyed confusion. "I said it, what now biotch!" was her uncle's reply. "Yeah well your mom!" was her father's ever intelligent retort.

"What did you say hoe!?" she was convinced they had either gone crazy, or had gotten some strange ghetto disease. "I saaaaid yo momma!" she sweat dropped, maybe it was a bit of both. She was just going back to the book she had been trying to read when she heard a thump. She looked up, feeling the tension in the air. Itachi had hit Sasuke!

After a moment in which he let the fact sink in Sasuke pounced. He tackled Itachi and they went down, wailing on and punching the crap out of each other. They were ninja for fucks sake, could they get any dumber!

Courtney stood up, "You two idiots! Cut it out! You're fuckin elite ass ninja and you go at each other like a couple of drunken morons in a barroom fistfight! So get your retarded asses off the damn floor and get over yourselves! Either that or fight like fuckin ninjas dammit!" she said, she didn't yell, but damn could she project when she was pissed! "You little bitch! Don't cuss, your too damn young to be fuckin cussing!" was her father's reaction as he hit her over her head. She punched him in the nose and tackled him. He still had Itachi by the shirt so they all went down in a pile of punches, so much for Uchiha coldness, huh?

Apparently it was impossible for them to remember they were ninja as they continued to beat the crap out of each other. Finally Courtney came out the victor and hoisted them up the flagpole via their undies singing the Star - Spangled Banner as she pulled on the chakra fortified rope. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Mike (who had woken up a few moments ago) saluted smirking, ahh the pleasures of being a bully. She thought of allowing some others to join them ::coughcoughWyattandAmandacoughcough:: but decided against it, she'd used enough chakra to get the dumbass duo up there.

Sasuke just hung out (haha) and waited to be brought down but Itachi, oh Itachi, he struggled waving his arms. "When I get down from here you are soooo dead, ya here that? D.E.A.D. dead!" he shouted in vain while flailing his arms around in an almost chibi like state, or he would've been a chibi if they were in an anime. (Lol)

Finally he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, he was miffed! "Bitch" was all he muttered. (Lol I am a bitch) He rethought this and started flailing again "This is so not fair! Why are you so mean!? You meanie head!" chibi Itachi wailed. It was ridiculous! Here you had a full grown mass murdering ninja and he was whining because his fifteen year old niece had raised him to the top of a flagpole by his ridiculous purple care bear boxers.

Courtney, however, just sat back and laughed manically. Manic laughter was never a good thing considering her family's history. She actually sounded sorta like a tyrannical hamster©. (sad but true T-T and don't mind the copyright thing it was a joke lol) She finally got sick of Itachi's blubbering, he had begun to cry and beg after the first three minutes, and let them down. Of course her dad came down first, seeing as he had the sense to stay quiet, and was lowered down gently. Itachi however was allowed to drop halfway down. He hit the pavement with a dull thud and slowly tried to get up, only to fall back down about an inch from the ground. "I have fallen and I can't get up." He whined, but his cries were muffled by the fact that he was face down on the concrete.

Sasuke and Naruto had been having a contest over who could eat the most pizza. Sasuke won since Naruto had never had a good stomach for anything thicker than ramen. They moved on to who could climb the flagpole without chakra faster, Naruto won that one. Family friends Ash and Gary Oak had arrived and had decided that they too would compete each other. "All right dumbasses get over here!" Courtney commanded. Although they were all older than her and Sasuke and Naruto were her parents they obeyed, Courtney could be down right scary. "Why is it always the rivals!? Why can't you guys go one day, one fuckin day, without competing!?" she seethed. "Who can eat the most, who can give a better bj, who can go the longest without sex! What's next!? Who can find the best sailor moon cosplay costume!?" Naruto and Ash both slowly raised their hands when she asked that question. Courtney just blinked and stood there for a dumbstruck moment. Then she started to laugh hysterically. "I cannot believe you people! This is ridiculous! I'm just going to go inside and pretend I never found that out!" she said, she had turned and started walking back to the building mid sentence.

This was going to be a _**very**_ long day

yeah I'm into palletshipping too! And yes somehow the Naruto characters know the pokemon characters and they all know Spiderman. Wait until Rhett and Scarlett from Gone With the Wind get here! Anywayz review plz!!!


	6. Truth or dare

Kids these days

Ch 6

I finally got a review that wasn't from one of the characters! So this chappie is a dedication to that reviewer! So **goodlilgirl1314** this is for you -. I will be doing a chappie dedication again for my 10th reviewer so send in them reviews peeps!

'Thoughts'

"Dialog"

**Kyuubi**

**Mizuni**

Naruto was bored. No he was more than bored, he was literally bored to tears! He was so bored he had begun to see how long he could last without making a noise while pinching himself in the same spot over and over. He eventually lost and began to see sow long he could last while scratching himself raw. He abandoned this after he lost interest. Kyuubi was healing him to fast anyway. "I'm bored." He voiced eventually. Too bad no one was listening to him. "Let's play a game!" he exclaimed, his cerulean eyes bright with the prospect of something to fill his time.

When Sasuke heard what the dobe had said he smirked, it was the perfect excuse to screw his little blonde kitsune into whatever surface he could find. Due to the fact that the two were mates and therefore bonded he could communicate with the older fox.

'Hey fox! Can you hear me?'

**Yes Uchiha I can hear you, what do you want?**

'I know you want Naruto to get some as much as I do and I know how we can make that happen'

**I'm listening brat.**

'Naruto wants to play a game, persuade him to play the game truth or dare and when I tell you contact the cat and have her tell her vessel to give Naruto a certain dare.'

**How does that help, or is the Uchiha madness finally effected you too?**

'Sex deprived and mad is not the same thing fox. The dare will be very helpful. You know as well as I do that the dobe never back down from a challenge.'

**I see, I like your train of though Uchiha. Are you sure your clan is not descended from foxes?**

'No, wolves actually so are you in or not?'

**Yeah I'm in brat.**

'Good'

With that Sasuke broke off the connection and let the fox work his magic. He just had to sit back and let the demons do their work.

**Hey kit, anybody home upstairs?**

'Yeah Kyuu I'm here'

**Your bored, am I right?**

'Extremely'

**You have your friends and their kits as well as your own kit here right?**

'Yup, nothing to do though' sighs

**Why don't you play truth or dare?**

'You know what Kyuubi-chan, that's a great idea!'

**Glad to be of service, I need a nap now goodbye.**

Kyuubi broke the chain and went to "nap" in the back of her cage. "Hey everybody, Let's play truth or dare!" He cried happily. He couldn't wait to see everyone's smiling faces and enthusiastic agreements, especially Courtney's. She got bored as fast as he did.

The words 'truth or dare' echoed ominously in Courtney's mind. There was no way in hell she was going to play that fucked up game with her horny parents and their horny friends. There was a chance she would have to see her parents molest each other! She was _not _playing. "No." she said simply. "Aww but why not Courtney-chan?" her mother whined. "Because I have to watch you sex-crazed idiots molest each other enough as it is without seeing you dared to do it. I can't even walk through my own house without walking in on you two going at it like hormonal rabbits." She replied, sipping the remaining broth from her cup of instant ramen.

As Naruto heard the calm reply from his daughter he pouted. Then it hit him, he smirked and turned towards her. "Fine, if you promise to play me and your dad will keep it in the bedroom for a whole week." He said slyly, he knew how to get to her. Her eyes widened visibly. One week! That was at least ten times a day for seven days that she wouldn't be blinded. ""I'll play." She said quickly, she just hoped she wouldn't regret it. The squeal of. "Thank you!" came from her mother as she sighed dejectedly.

They all sat in a circle Naruto, Sasuke, Courtney, Tenten, Wyatt, Mike, Kaitlyn, Neji, Lee, Jenny, Amanda, Hinata, Sakura (the two had just come back lol come), Shikamaru, Kakashi, Itachi, Iruka, Tamari, Ino, Shino, Kankuro, Tim, and even Gaara. "Ok I'll go first. Hmm, Itachi I dare you to apologize to everyone for not telling us about the baby." He said, happy with his choice. Itachi cringed but swallowed his pride. "I'm sorry, I should have told you." He said sighing. Ok my turn. "Courtney truth or dare?" he asked boredly, Naruto had never been good at giving dares. "Truth uncle." She said, equally as bored. "Ok is it true that you knew had the Sharingan for a week before you told anyone?" he asked, he had always thought this but hadn't asked. Courtney sighed and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Yes, it is true uncle." She said as she bowed her head ashamed. "My turn Mike, truth or dare?" she asked, seemingly apathetic. "Dare." Was the expected response. This is when Courtney got a little scary. She smiled evilly and chuckled darkly. "I dare you to kiss your aunt Tenten, on the lips. And don't be afraid to use a little tongue." She said smirking. Mike and Tenten both turned a shade of sickening green while Neji and Wyatt turned an Angry red. Courtney was now sure she had four people out to kill her for even _thinking_ that. "Consequences." Mike said with a weak squeaky rasp. This is where the game got interesting.

"Ok for your consequence you have to go without sex for a week. Remember if you either fail to complete the dare or refuse you will be subject to the electric chair in which you will be tickled until you pee yourself, do you understand?" she said formally. Mike nodded, Tim looked absolutely livid. Why should he be punished too!? Mike was still a bit pale from the mere mention of the electric chair. "Ok Shikamaru, truth or dare?" He said shakily. "Truth" was the tired reply. Shikamaru was far from dumb enough to fall for the bait of a dare when you could easily lie your way out of truth. "Ok, have you ever tried on pink maternity clothes?" was the question. Shikamaru started to panic, if he lied Itachi would know and tell them and he would be forced to endure the electric chair. When your pregnant and already piss more than usual this is never a good thing. He decided to tell the truth. "All of my maternity clothes except what I am wearing are either pink or say 'Property of Uchiha Itachi on them." was the semi calm reply. Mike stifled a laugh. "Ok a simple yes would've sufficed." He said between giggles. "Shikamaru your turn." The lazy shinobi nodded. "Kaitlyn, you know the drill." He said yawning. "Truth." She said simply. "Ok have you ever done anything beyond making out with a boy." He said, his eyes narrowing. This game was the perfect way to interrogate his daughter. She shrugged and just said "no."

Now Kaitlyn and Courtney had come up with a strategy for this game. They had teamed up to make Mike's life a living hell. "Ok Tim, truth or dare." She said, acting as if she didn't care either way. "Dare." "Ok I dare you to take Mike in the bathroom and 'compromise his dare' if you know what I mean." She said smirking. "Gladly" he said as he picked Mike up bridal style and carried him out of the room. "And now we wait." Courtney said, giving her cousin a high five. About five minutes later the two boys came back with their clothes askew, Mike's shirt wasn't even on the right way.

"Mike, you failed to complete your consequence dare. You know what happens now." With that half of the group jumped him. He gave in after about six minutes of nonstop tickling and pissed himself. This made Courtney suspicious, he usually lasted a lot longer. "Tim your turn." She said, she could wait till her next turn to ask. "Fine Courtney truth or dare?" he had wanted to ask her about a suspicion he had. "Truth." And now he had his chance. "Courtney is it true you are a jinchikurii and the vessel for the Mizuni no neko?" Courtney flinched and somehow managed to force a yes through gritted teeth. She looked sadly at him, her eyes begging him to tell her why he had forced her to reveal that.

**Now's your chance kitten, dare your parents to mate. This is the chance you've been waiting for. Your mother is in heat and if they mate now he will have more young.**

'Fine, whatever.'

**I know that bastard Aburame hurt your feelings but it's not the end of the world if your friends know you're my vessel, you didn't hear them gasp or call you names did you?**

'Well no, but-'

**No buts Kitten, just get over it, ok kitten?**

'Ok, thanks'

**Always welcome kitten**

'And Mizuni?'

**Yes kitten?**

'I love you, even though you are an all powerful youkai.'

**I love you too kitten**

Courtney smiled softly as she broke their connection. It was nice to have someone who understood, even if that someone was an evil demon sealed inside your body. "Mom I dare you to fuck dad in the bathroom." She said smiling brightly. Everyone stared at her, was that actually Courtney? "Uhh suure." He said as he grabbed his husband's hand and tore out of the room, and away from that crazy girl, as fast as he could.

The group dispersed, they were getting bored. Courtney decided to take a walk in the hall. She had just rounded the corner and headed into a small hallway when she was cornered. She couldn't see the faces of her assailants as they pushed her to the floor and started kicking her in the stomach. With each blow they let out an insult that cut deep, deeper than any physical wound. "Freak!" said one "Demon" said another. The insults were all the same, all intended to make her feel like she was scum, lower than the dirt they walked on. They succeeded, she didn't even fight back she just took the blows numbly. She deserved it after all, she always had, all the beatings she had taken over the years had assured her of that one thing.

She deserved it all

**Who are Courtney's unknown assailants? Tune in next time to find out! From here on in the fic gets a little angsty. I will include all of the lemons that are taking place in the bathroom in a special chapter when the main fic is done.**

Lol so anywayz once again plz review and thanx to Wyatt and goodlilgirl1314 for their wonderful reviews, or thanx to goodlilgirl1314, just ignore Wyatt cause he doesn't count.


	7. Broken

Kids these days

Ch 7

Disclaimer 1: I do not own any thing in this story cept Courtney, Mizuni, and the love child growing in Shika-chan's tummy -

Shikamaru: No you don't it's mine!

Itachi: yeah you can't just go around saying you own other peoples children!

Mizuni: And who said I belong to you human!

Courtney: Fine, fine! I own nothing except me, myself, and I. cries Happy now?

_Dream sequence_

'Courtney's thoughts'

'_Naruto's thoughts'_

**Kyuubi**

**Mizuni**

'_**Sasuke's thoughts'**_

On wit da fic!

Courtney had been gone a long time, she'd been gone when Naruto and Sasuke had come back to the cafeteria and she still hadn't come back. It had been almost three hours and no one had been able to find her. No one, that is, until they heard a ear splitting scream.

"That sounded like my mom!" Mike said as Naruto and Sasuke ran as fast as they could to the origin of the sound. There were tears streaming down Naruto's face. 'Please let her be ok, please let my little girl be ok.' Naruto was a very protective mother. He had to be. Courtney was the only child he had left. Her twin brother had drowned one day while they were at a picnic. 'I only looked away for one second.' He sobbed and ran faster.

When he saw Hinata he started to slow down but when he saw the small bloody bundle she was holding he stopped dead in his tracks. "Courtney!" he cried hoarsely. He grabbed the girl from Hinata. Her appearance was much different but he knew who it was. This was bad, this was very bad. Her henge would only drop if she was very, very weak.

In the place of the brown haired, hazel eyed girl lay a small pale figure with silken hair as black as night. If she had opened her eyes you would have seen pools of ebony black. Her breathing was heavy and labored, she was really weak. Naruto was so distraught he didn't even notice when Sasuke came up behind them.

Sasuke kneeled down and scooped the small fragile girl out of her mother's arms. "We have to get her to Sakura, love please we need to get her to Sakura or she might not make it." He said as he took Naruto's hand in his. Naruto nodded and sent out a wave of chakra to find the pink haired medic-nin. "Front lobby." He said quietly, but Sasuke heard him and rushed into the main lobby.

"Sakura, we found her!" Sasuke called to her. Sakura immediately came over and began to heal her. "She'll be fine physically, but emotionally I'm not so sure." She said after a few minutes.

Courtney felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest 'how could he? How could he do this to me, I thought he was my friend! I-I lo-lo' she cancelled that train of thought, it was too painful. There was a dull aching in her chest where she knew her heart was. She just wanted it to stop, but she knew it wouldn't. She could see the darkness swirling at the edge of her vision and welcomed it, anything to take her mind from the pain pulsing through her shredded heart.

_She woke up in a corridor, well lit compared to what her mother said his youkai's cell looked like. She stood up and brushed herself off. "Mizuni, are you awake, I need to talk to you." She called softly, actually hoping the demon wouldn't hear. _

_Lady luck wasn't on her side today. "Yes Kitten I'm here." Came the soft yet animalistic voice she knew so well. She ran crying to the demon and wrapped her arms around as much of her as she could. "Kitten, what's wrong? Here sit here." She said as she gestured to her hind leg where her warm tails waited to curl around the shaking Uchiha girl like they had when she was a little girl after a bad nightmare. _

_She sat down and rested her tear stained cheek against the snow white flank. They bushy white tails wrapped around her and she felt oddly at home, like she always had with the motherly cat. She felt something warn and wet on her cheek, she looked into worried electric blue eyes. The demon licked her cheek again and nuzzled her softly. _

"_Now, tell me what's wrong kitten?" She said curling more tightly around the girl's small frame. "I got attacked again." She said simply. But Mizuni wasn't gonna buy that one. "If you had simply been attacked you wouldn't have come in here, now would you?" she asked._

"_No, it was somebody close to me." She said looking away as the tears started to roll down her cheeks again. Mizuni just brushed away the tears and nudged her into looking at her with one of her eight snowy tails. "Who was it Kitten?"_

_Courtney looked into those electric blue eyes that could strike fear into the heart of any full grown Shinobi. She couldn't see what made her so fearsome, she was more like a mother than a destroyer of villages. "It was him." She said her face dropping._

_It was then that she was able to witness for herself the reason Mizuni no neko the eight tailed ice youkai was to be feared. She had a feral, almost blood thirsty look on her face. She was growling lower than most cats could and her fangs were bared in a blood curdling snarl. She only whispered one thing, "_I willkill him._" And with that the whiteness slowly crept into her vision as she woke up._

Courtney woke up slowly, but she couldn't feel anything, she was completely numb. She could sense that somewhere in the distance the waking world was out there and that it was waiting for her, but she couldn't go back just yet. She lay somewhere on the verge of consciousness and sleep, living and living dead.

She gazed sadly at the small fragile girl. She looked almost like a broken doll. Her black eyes were half lidded and completely empty, void of any emotion, even pain. Sasuke hated to see his daughter like this, so weak and broken. She was empty.

Naruto looked in to her eyes. To most anyone else they would look empty, but after years of having those same empty eyes he could see a rainbow of emotions, most of which had to do with pain. "Honey, who did this?" he asked softly. He saw her eyes harden then swivel into Sharingan.

"That Hyuuga bastard! The one who claims to be my friend, yeah right!" she spat. Naruto blanched and shook with rage. "Which one Courtney? Neji? No Neji knew about Mizuni. Was it Mike?" he asked laughing coldly, harshly. She shook her head no. when she replied it was only one word. "Wyatt." She spat the name like it was a foul tasting poison.

Sakura heard her cousin-in-law's son's name and she immediately clenched her fists so tightly it began to hurt. "I'll kill him, I don't care if he _is_ Neji and Tenten's only child!" she rasped dangerously calm. The rule within their group was that no one was prejudice, not to the jinchikurii, not to the homosexuals. It was just a rule, everyone knew it. To break it like this was punishable by slow and painful death by many different hands.

Courtney just wished she could just rip her own fucking heart out! What was worse was that he wasn't the only one who had broken her heart like this. "K-Kaitlyn." She stammered out. She could tell they didn't understand what she was saying. "Kaitlyn t-too." She said sobbing. The shell had finally broken as she let the tears fall. She felt someone draw her to them and sobbed into their shirt. She faintly realized it was her mother, and he was crying into her hair. Sasuke and Sakura joined them, but didn't cry, they couldn't share the pain, they weren't demon vessels.

'Mizuni, you said it was going to be ok! You promised!'

**Kitten I'm sorry I wish I could take all of this pain and just feel it all for you.**

'Sometimes, I just wish I didn't have all of these stupid emotions, they only get in the way. Shinobi are nothing but tools and I understand why that is now' she thought bitterly

'_Courtney, honey you don't mean that!'_

'Mother please get out of my head, I'm trying to have a conversation with Mizuni'

'_**Naruto, just leave her alone. She just needs some time. Her cousin and one of her closest friends just beat her to near death.'**_

She felt her parent's essences leave her inner mind.

**Kitten your mother was right, you didn't mean what you said.**

'No Mizuni, the thing is, I did mean it. Friends, family, it's all pointless. They just end up hurting you.'

And with that Courtney broke two connections, the one with the giant demon cat, and the one with her heart.


	8. Suicide Mission, or not

Kids these days

Ch 8

Hey! Sorry for the wait. O.o' GOMEN NASAI!!!!

xXEmOXx

Courtney awoke from the talk with the neko youkai. She stared into the nothingness with blank obsidian eyes. She registered somewhere in the back of her mind that her mother was talking, but she ignored it. She lifted herself off of the ground and walked past the group of adults. She heard their shouts of protest, but kept walking. She turned a corner, only to see her path was blocked.

"Oh my, If it isn't the demon herself." A cold voice sounded in her ears.

"Well Kaitlyn, what should we do with her?" another voice sneered.

"Well children, wouldn't that be for me to decide." Now this voice was quite unexpected.

She looked up slowly. it was as she had thought. A tall pale man accompanied the two teens. He smirked at her with eerie golden eyes. She took in her surroundings, not the best for combat, but she was confident of her abilities against the younger two.

"Orochimaru." She stated.

"Uchiha Courtney." He returned.

"Orochimaru-sama, what shall we do with her, I am anxious to pay her back for the annoyance she caused." Wyatt sneered.

"We can't let her live now that she knows we're double agents." Kaitlyn stated casually, as if wasn't suggesting killing her cousin.

"We can, and we will. We need her to convey that the time of peace has come to an end and Konoha must arm itself." And with that the trio vanished.

xXEmOXx

This day was just going to get worse wasn't it? She didn't know, she didn't particularly care either. She just wanted to get this over and done with. She walked into the cafeteria. "Orochimaru is back. Kaitlyn and Wyatt have joined him. I'm going to go kill them, bye." She turned on her heel and was halfway out the door when someone grabbed her shirt.

"If your going at least don't go alone." She turned to see her mother with her eyes to the ground, trying not to cry. "Why not? They were my team, I have no one else to go with me now." And with that she strode out. Halfway down the hall she was stopped by another hand fisted in her shirt, but this time it was Jenny. She felt a fist connect with her face. "Are you stupid!?" Jenny hissed at her. "If you want to go get killed then by all means do it, but don't go in there, announce that your practically committing suicide, and eave your mother without an explanation!" her voice kept raising in volume until she was screaming in Courtney's face.

Courtney just laughed t her. "Do you really think I care? I am nothing but a tool to be used, it is my duty and my privilege to be able to pursue these criminals without endangering my fellows, or have you forgotten what it is to be a shinobi?" she leered.

Jenny just threw her onto the floor. "You may be a "good" shinobi, but you are a horrible person." And with that she left Courtney lying on the floor laughing coldly at her receding form. Courtney picked herself up off of the ground and continued on her way.

xXEmOXx

She soon found herself a mile from the entrance to the Otokage's lair…for lack of a better word. Putting tracking devices on your entire clan came in handy with a history like theirs.

She began scouting the area for traps and alarms that would alert the inhabitants to her presence. By passing the traps and "silencing" the guards, she was finally able to sneak in as a maid. She kept her chakra signature subdued and covered to the amount one would expect of a civilian. She knew Kaitlyn and Wyatt were lazy and would let their guard down so it was unlikely that she would be caught by the Byakuugan or the Sharingan.

She kept her head hung and her posture slouched, the semblance of a minimum wage laborer taking over, she wasn't an actress for nothing. She came to a hallway were she could hear the familiar voices of her former teammates. She pretended to be cleaning the floors as she stopped in front of the door.

"How do I know I can trust you two, I trusted an Uchiha before and look where it got me." The voice was cold and evil, that of Orochimaru. "Hyuuga's are not much different, am I right? How am I to know whether or not you are loyal to me and not that pathetic village you serve?" she could practically hear the smirk in the way he said it, if they were lying they would have been completely trapped by this.

As it is she knew they would answer soon. She was rewarded when she heard Kaitlyn speak up. "Set us a task Orochimaru-sama and we will do it." Bingo, the answer he had wanted from them. "Well there is the matter of that other Uchiha girl." He said casually. "She could be a great hindrance to us in the future."

The pair jumped at this idea like wolves to a piece of meat. "We could dispose of her for you sir." Kaitlyn said excitedly. Another answer Courtney knew he was looking for. "Oh no children, I was thinking of something much more beneficial to all concerned. She cares for you both very much, does she not? We can take advantage of that to get her to come to us. She is very powerful, more so than the both of you. Convince her to join us, and I will trust you. Fail, and it is kill or be killed.

Courtney, who had not even looked away from her faux cleaning duties, heard the door the voices came from behind open. She sensed that the older man looked straight through her, and the two teens ignored her completely. When they had passed she walked in the opposite direction, as if to go on to other duties. When she was out of sight and earshot she went out a side exit and snuck past any traps, once again "silencing" any guards in her way. She went a safe distance from the lair where she could be found easily, but only by the right people. All that was left to do now was to wait.

xXEmOXx

This has been angsty fanfiction with Mizuninoneko, tune in next time to hear Wyatt say "Come to the dark side, we have cookies" (he doesn't really say that lol

I'm thinking of giving all the OCs Japanese names, what do you think? I'll have a key at the beginning to tell you who's who. I just need your opinion.


	9. The End

Ok So I hate this fic! I momentarily forgot how much OCs suck! I'm just gonna finish this up and never bother with it again!

Yuri: Courtney

Miko: Kaitlyn

Hikaru: Wyatt

Michiru: Jenny

Rinako: Amanda

Hiroshi: Tim

Ritsuka: Mike

~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~

Yuri had almost drifted off to sleep when her quarry finally found her.

"Well if it isn't the little Uchiha brat." Came to cool voice of Orochimaru.

"Well if it isn't the pedophile snake bastard." She retorted.

The snake-like man's face contorted in rage.

"Kill her! Kill her now!" He ordered, and the two former leaf nins went to do just that.

They were seemingly bent on their task, throwing punches and kicks like their life depended on it. Which to all appearances, they did.

Orochimaru then made the biggest mistake of his life, he joined in the fight.

Yuri signaled to Miko and Hikaru, smirking. Suddenly all three turned their attention on the otokage. Yuri sliced his legs off with a katana, Miko slit his throat with a kunai, and Hikaru went strait for the heart.

Taken by surprise, he didn't realize that he had been played until his heart was literally in Hikaru's hand.

Smiling, the three man cell began their journey back to Ardmore to report the success of their mission.

~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~

The second they walked through the door, most of the people in the room tried to attack Hikaru and Miko. But they stopped when Yuri threw Orochimaru's purple rope belt onto the floor. It was covered in his blood.

It was Naruto who spoke up first. "But…what?"

Everyone was thoroughly confused. Yuri started the explanation.

"We had to infiltrate the base, and what better way than for everyone to figure out that I was a demon host? It would be a foregone conclusion that someone would get pissed."

Hikaru continued, "When we 'found out' we pretended to be angry and we 'beat her up'. Then we defected to Orochimaru, pretending to hold deep resentments towards Konoha and Yuri."

Miko finished, "But the whole time we were really just looking for an oppourtunity to kill him. And we found it."

After a moments silence all three said the same thing. "Can we go home now?"

Everyone just laughed and began preparing for the journey back to the village hidden in the leaves.

~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~

Ok! It's done! I will no longer even acknowledge this story!!


End file.
